Top Targets (free agents, stupid!)
Since i don’t know who is available in your league, i am going to have to act like your league is a bunch of idiots and state the obvious. However, under all that Marcus Allen-ness, hopefully i can offer you a nugget you might have missed.
Oct. 16, 2008
Qb’s
Head Smacker’s-
Derek Anderson, Cleveland- This guy was dropped in many leagues due to his team’s horrible start and he personally playing like Mark Rypien as a Ram. He looks like he is awake again and Braylon Edwards seems happy.
Brad Johnson, Dallas- Although Johnson is so old he farts dust, and he has an arm as strong as cooked pasta, Owens, Witten and the newly acquired Roy Williams should get some decent YAC for him.
Not So Obvious
Jeff Garcia, Tampa- Also old but not as old as Johnson. This guy is a scrapper and should get double digit fantasy numbers. Good spot starter or bye week option.
Hail Mary-
Seneca Wallace, Seattle- With Hasselbeck out Wallace appears to be back from injury and ready to step into the starting role. Although he has been erratic in terms of accuracy, he is a play maker and is a threat to run for TDs at any time.
RB
Head Smackers-
Jamal Lewis, Cleveland- See Derek Anderson.
Not So Obvious
Cedric Benson, Cincinnati- I know, I know, he is a a bum. I mean the guys that live under the pier call this guy a bum but Marvin Lewis seems enamored with him and maybe he got the message that his poop does stink just like everyone else and this is not austin texas where everyone falls at his feet and sluts have a bunch of guys to throw panties at in the NFL, IF YOU WANT IT YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT.
Hail Mary-
Tashard Choice, Dallas- With Felix Jones out and Brad Johnson unable to air it out, the cowboys should be running silly and if they can’t do that they will be dumping off to the RBs (since Witten usually runs WR routes he is less of a dump off target than other TEs) choice might be good for a spot start if you need RB help in a deep league.
WR
Head Smackers
Joey Galloway, Tampa- The ageless wonder seems poised to finally make his first start of the season. If he is half of the player he was before he broke a hip, he will be the best option on the Bucs, AGAIN.
Not so obvious
Kevin Walter, Houston- If you have been waiting to see if the real Matt Shaub would please stand up to make a decision on Walter, wait no longer. He has produced every game this year and if you don’t snag him this week, he will be gone next. (unless you play in a league of dumbasses)
Hail Mary
Mike Furrey, Detroit- With Roy Williams gone, someone might have sent Furrey a message that he is still in the NFL. Remember this guy? 90 catches after being converted from DB? The only reason that this is not a head smacker is that he plays for the sad…sad lions and it is difficult to put up numbers as a WR when your QB thinks it is okay to run the baseline like in basketball and throw from the tunnel leading to the locker room in order to avoid the rush. Hey, why did they stop running their routes??? what a weak pass rush they just gave up. Why is there a guy selling pretzels beside me?
Oct. 8, 2008
Qb’s
Head Smacker’s-
Jason Campbell, Washington- If your league is stupid enough to have him still available…Stop the madness, pick him up now, he has the Rams next week, followed by Cleveland and then the sorry ass Lions. If there is a better 3 week stretch of stiffs, I don’t know what it could be.
Kyle Orton, Chicago- Despite my constant hate for this guy, he seems to be growing into his role (which is don’t screw up). Any quarterback on a winning team is going to get points.
Hail Mary-
Ja Marcus Russell, Oakland- I know, I know, but hear me out. He was playing for a cancerous coach that didn’t want to draft him and was determined to make him look like a mistake. How could he get better if they never let him throw. But now, the crazy geritol addict has cut the cancer out and his new puppet will give J Russ the Ball.
RB
Head Smackers-
Correll Buckhalter, Philadelphia- Surprise, Brian Westbrook is hurt, it looks like CB is the guy behind the guy. Any question?
(Steve Slaton and Chris Johnson should be owned already but if they are not, stop being an idiot.)
Hail Mary-
Duece McCallister, New Orleans- He is supposed to be healthy. (i wrote this before the game so if he is sent home on a gurny, ignore this) The guy is a short yardage clock killer on a team that is going to win some games. Fantasy football 101
WR
Head Smackers
Bobby Engram, Seattle- Remember him, “go to” guy for an offense that throws alot. He is back and healthy.
Deion Branch- See above only replace “go to” with “deep threat”.( He did have an ACL operation so tread a little more lightly here.)
Not so obvious
Antonio Chatman, Cincinati- Yes Chris Henry is back from his stint in the thinking chair but in case you missed it, Chatman is having a bigger year than Ocho Cinco and if Carson Palmer can ever get his head out of his ass Chatman should continue to produce.
Mike Walker Jacksonville- It appears that David Garrard has forgotten how to throw the ball to everyone else so if you are in need of a WR he might be worth a flier.
Hail Mary
Devin Hester- All this guy does is score touchdowns. If you are in a deep league and want a playmaker, give him a shot. Plus, the upside is. if you play him at WR you should get a couple punt returns for TDs throughout the year.
